BACKGROUND

This is about a London girl who I met whilst travelling. There’s something comforting about meeting a person from your own city when abroad.

CHORDS + LYRICS 

A     A7

Choose your city, spin this globe

D     Dm

New York, Paris, Tokyo

A B

It doesn’t matter where in this world

D A

There’s nothing like a London girl

Speaks my lingo, knows the friends I keep

Ruby Murray and Rosie Lee

Don’t wanna have to Google translate

A London girl is your best mate

Looooooooooooooooooon… London girls!

Don’t wanna have to Google translate

A London girl is your best mate

Laughs at dad jokes, gets a pun

Pulls my finger, just for fun

If I’m gonna do a fart

I know my London girl will laugh

Knows my cultural references

Could be useful in a quiz, like…

State a phrase of Bruce Forsyth

Nice to see you, to see you nice

Looooooooooooooooooon… London girls!

If they don’t know Bruce Forsyth

Nice to see you, to see you nice

If they don’t know Bruce Forsyth

Nice to see you, to see you… nice!

BACKGROUND

I wrote this when I was 17. After 20 years of playing it at family gatherings (it's everyone's favourite), it's finally released to the world.

CHORDS + LYRICS 

C       F

Don’t believe when you say, pretty baby

C   G

You’re not right for me

C     F

But I know what I know, so come on, pretty baby

C G   C

Put a little faith in me

Give you the world if you want it, pretty baby

Girl, I’m on my knees

What do I have to do if I want to get with you

Could you draw a picture please

F       C F C

It doesn’t matter what the others say, it’s what we do

Bb/D

Cause you’re my pretty baby and I really don’t mean maybe

G

When I say I wanna spend my life with you

But she said…

Baby, you don’t get in for free

You gotta learn the rules like the ABC

You better slow down, you’re only seventeen

Don’t be hanging signs on me

BREAK

I make you smile when I call you pretty baby

But it’s not of the kind I want

You’re just laughing at me, failing miserably 

Maybe it’s the time I stop

It doesn’t matter what the others say, it’s what we do

Cause you’re my pretty baby and I really don’t mean maybe

When I say I wanna spend my life with you

But she said…

Baby, you don’t get in for free

You gotta learn the rules like the ABC

You better slow down, you’re only seventeen

Don’t be hanging signs on me

Then she said…

Baby, you don’t get in for free

You gotta learn the rules like the ABC

You better slow down, you’re only seventeen

Don’t be hanging signs on me

BACKGROUND

It's written for a friend with depression. After learning about the illness, I came to realise that I can't really help, but I can try my best.

CHORDS + LYRICS 

F       G   C

And when the desert stretches miles before your eyes

F     G     C

The towns they’re hidden by the dunes

F     G   C     Cmaj9/B   Am

Grab hold of my arm, fly me like a kite

F       G             C

I’ll try my best to get to you

And when you’re deep into the cave and can’t see light

Can’t see your feet, you’re all confused

Grab hold of my arm, illuminate the night

I’ll try my best to get to you

And when the mountains block the roads up in your mind

And they’re too heavy to be moved

Grab hold of my arm, I’ll be your dynamite

I’ll try my best to get to you

And when you fall into a pit of snakes and lions

Ain’t got no weapons you can use

Grab hold of my arm, wield me like a knife

I’ll try my best to get to you

And when the seasons change and winds begins to bite

You shiver from the frost and dew

Grab hold of my arm, turn me into fire

I’ll try my best to get to you

And when the city gives you stress and takes your time

And all you want is to take off your shoes

Grab hold of my arm, sip me like a wine

I’ll try my best to get to

I really want to get to

I’ll try my best to get to you

BACKGROUND

Turning 40, I prefer to call this midpoint a 'reflection' than a 'crisis'. This song sums up my mixed emotions: melancholy, celebratory, and hopeful.

CHORDS + LYRICS

Verse: B F# E 

Chorus: F# E

When all is said and done
Well I hope you had some fun
In the rain and in the sun
You will dance with everyone

You made some lovers and some friends
And I’m sure you’ll meet again

You’re a sentimental guy
Enough to make me cry

When your head is full of doubt
You don’t know if you’re in or out
You can kick and scream about
Even better twist and shout

And they say you have a dream
And the best is to be seen

You’re a sentimental guy
Enough to make me cry

You’re a sentimental guy
You’re a sentimental guy

BACKGROUND

A did actually write a love letter once, but I didn't scrunch it up. I posted it to a made-up address. This is my tribute to that artefact.

CHORDS + LYRICS

A# Gm F# F

V1
I wrote my heart on an envelope
I lost my words and I kind of choked
So I scrunched it
Now it’s a ball

CHORUS
Brown paper ball
That you slam to the wall
Asking one question
‘Do you love me?’

V2
I told my heart it’s time to forgot about you
I said these words out loud so that my heart can’t refuse
But it refused
And started pumping some more

CHORUS
Heart’s pumping some more
Cause of this brown paper ball
Asking one question
‘Do you love me?’

MIDDLE 8
I… really wanna love you more
If only you’d open up and invite me in

V3
I’ll tell your heart don’t play with envelopes
They’ll mix your words and they’ll go for broke
So just scrunch it
Make it a ball

V4
And tell your heart there’s plenty more fish in the sea
But I am tired of fishing, I just want your
Good old fashioned company cause
We could be so good together

V5
Tell me something, tell me something
How do you sleep so peacefully?
When my mind is full of thoughts
‘Do you love me?’

CHORUS
Brown paper ball
That you slam to the wall
Asking one question
‘Do you love me?’

CHORUS
Heart’s pumping some more
Cause of this brown paper ball
Asking one question
‘Do you love me?’

OUTRO
Ball

Brown paper ball
Do you love me?

Brown paper ball
Do you love me?

Brown paper ball
Do you love me?

Brown paper ball
Do you love me?

Brown paper ball
Do you love me?

Brown paper ball
Do you love me?

BACKGROUND

We all want a Steve-Bucky relationship. That's the core of any good story, Marvel superheroes or not. So I just tapped into that when writing this song.

CHORDS + LYRICS

Capo on 4

VERSE 1

       C       Em       Am     F               G

So I’ve… never been to New York City, cause I’m a little afraid to fly

      C           Em           Am             F       G

And I’ve never caught any petty criminals in my web, cause I’m a little afraid to die

      F   G C         Em   Am

But if you share your number and let me walk you in the rain

F             G

I’ll be your Spider-Man, you’ll be my Mary Jane

VERSE 2
Now I’m… not the type of guy who gets angry. I’m a respectable, bespectacled guy
If someone shoulder barges me in the street, I’ll say, ‘I’m sorry. I hope you’re alright’
But, girl, if someone shoulder barges you, just shout me, Romanov
No more Dr Banner, the specs are coming off

VERSE 3
Sadly I’m not… rich or super charismatic. I don’t have witty remarks up my tuxedo sleeve
I don’t drive fast cars, have any fancy gizmos, not on the cover of glossy magazines
But if you want someone to run you a bath and feed you strawberries and love you lots
I’ll be your Tony Stark, you’ll be my Pepper Potts

VERSE 4
You can… see that I’m not much handsome, and I’m certainly no god
I don’t go to the gym five times a week. I got no muscles to show off
But, girl, if you can see past muscle, you’ll find that I’m no bore
Be my Dr Jane Foster, I’ll be your Thor

VERSE 5
Lastly I’ve… never been made a captain of an army or even my football team
I’m the kinda guy who likes to hang back, observe it all. Ain’t got a reason to lead
But, boy, if you lose direction and I see people do you harm
I’ll be your Steve Rogers
I’ll be your Steve Rogers
I’ll be your Steve Rogers, you’ll be my Bucky Barnes

OUTRO
Na na na na na, nana nana, na na nana na. You’ll be my Mary Jane
Na na na na na, nana nana, na na nana na. The specs are coming off
Na na na na na, nana nana, na na nana na. You’ll be my Pepper Potts
Na na na na na, nana nana, na na nana na. I’ll be your Thor
Na na na na na, nana nana, na na nana na.
I’ll be your Steve Rogers
I’ll be your Steve Rogers
I’ll be your Steve Rogers, you’ll be my Bucky Barnes

BACKGROUND

A love letter to London with nods to The Kinks, The Clash, and The Jam. Both pessimistic and hopeful. Do they stay or do they go?

CHORDS + LYRICS

D   Dmaj7 D7

Terry, he meets Julie

          G Em

But Julie doesn’t show

        A D Dmaj7 D7     Dmaj7

Cause love don’t last forever, everybody knows, and now he knows

Friday nights are lonely
Dinner by the phone
Forget about that river now, let that river go, let it flow 

Em         A

So, London, tell me why, are your people crying 

Em           A

London, tell me why, should I keep on trying

Em             A

You got to let me know, should I stay or should I go

Julie’s feeling seasick
She can’t fight those waves no more
Grab all of your belongings, turn and face the door, don’t wanna fight no more

Now Friday night’s for drinking
At half past four again
Celebrate that sunset, you made it through the day, another day

So, London, tell me why, are your people crying
London, tell me why, should I keep on trying
You got to let me know, should I stay or should I go

Should I stay or should I go
Should I stay or should I go
Should I stay or should I go
Stay or should I go

BACKGROUND

My Covid romance song. I actually sang a demo version to her, and she was most touched by the line: 'The kiss she asked for still means a lot to me'. So that's the line I always smile at.

CHORDS + LYRICS

A F#m C#m B#m

V1
Let me tell you 'bout a girl I matched on OKC
She was smiling in her photos, that’s a must for me
After several messages about our top five bands and films
and celebrities invited to a dinner party (Thom Yorke)

She asked me for a date near her in a north London park
I played it cool and said, ‘Sure, I know how to get there’
Got off the bus and took a left turn, should a took a right turn, 30 minutes later in the wrong ends

When I finally showed up, I was sweating from my jog
But she was pretty cool, she didn’t give me stroganoff
So we chatted about childhoods, teen-hoods, and a postmodern, sexually fluid, non-normative adulthood

Mono, poly, swing a brolly, bi or queer, straight or gay
Casual, hook up, I’m all shook up, unicorns and anarchy
We’re the generation swiping on Tinder
And I haven’t even mentioned we were socially distanced

CHORUS
She’s a lady lover
She’s a man lover
She’s a lover’s lover
Hold tight
She’s a wine lover
She’s a cat lover
She’s a massage lover
Alright

V2
For a second date (Woop!), I chose the V&A
Looked at some foreign things collected by some old, white males
Tried to impress her with my knowledge of the Empire
But she just shook her head and said that, ‘History is a big liar’

So we continued to a super trendy King’s Cross bar
I asked her questions over cocktails in a jam jar, like
‘How is your child?’ and ‘What are your kinks?’ and
’Is it important what your primary partner thinks?’ (Haha)

She laughed at me until the News at Ten told us to go
Government regulation keeps the R rate low
Back outside I thought to my myself, never met anyone like her
And she must have read my mind, cause she said, ’Is it OK if I kiss ya?’

Mono, poly, swing a brolly, bi or queer, straight or gay
Casual, hook up, I’m all shook up, unicorns and anarchy
We’re the generation swiping on Tinder
And sometimes we don’t follow being socially distanced

CHORUS
She’s a lady lover
She’s a man lover
She’s a lover’s lover
Hold tight
She’s a wine lover
She’s a cat lover
She’s a massage lover
Alright

V3
On our third date, I invited her over to mine
We planned to watch a film and red red wine
But feeling confident, proposed a massage and she said,
‘Ooh yeah, if you top up my glass’

I worked my hands up and down, side to side
In the joints, round the curves, waxing on, waxing off
Worked the muscles, and the bones, and the glands
And the tendons, and the nerves, it was getting pretty hot

I took my cue from her relaxing moans
It was now or never to start the kissy kissy
I thought I’ll do my bit for Queen and country
Let’s eat out to help out and help my friend Rishi

Mono, poly, swing a brolly, bi or queer, straight or gay
Casual, hook up, I’m all shook up, unicorns and anarchy
We’re the generation swiping on Tinder
And sometimes we don’t follow being socially distanced

CHORUS
She’s a lady lover
She’s a man lover
She’s a lover’s lover
Hold tight
She’s a wine lover
She’s a cat lover
She’s a massage lover
Alright

V4
In the morning, she said, ‘We need to have a chat’
You know it’s never good when someone says that
‘I like you,’ but, ‘life is so busy’
‘With my child and my girlfriend and my pussycat Tiggy’

And so… ‘I know it’s early but a break would be cool’
I thought, ah na, I’m Ross being elbowed by Rachel
‘I’ll be in touch when there’s work and there’s schools’
But I’m not holding my breath for days of old normal

So that’s the story of the girl I matched from OKC
The kiss she asked for still means a lot to me (x2)

BACKGROUND

My state of the world reflection: AI robots, climate change, fake news, and online power. Sometimes I think I'm not built for the modern world.

CHORDS + LYRICS

Captain Elon

Captain Elon

Won’t you lead us into outer space and

You can be my Captain Elon

C   Em

We’re all living in this world of Elon Musk

F       C 

Where robots take our jobs cause they’re smarter than us 

F   C 

We should be grateful, and we shouldn’t kick a fuss

Dm   G

We’re dying anyway 

The planet’s heating, and the ocean’s on the rise
It’ll wipe out Asia and then Europe’s next in line
Come on America, don’t you act surprised
This is the price you’ll pay

So Elon, Elon, won’t you save us from ourselves
Elon, Elon, cause we ain’t got no one else
With your technology, your vision, and your wealth
You could save us all

Captain Elon
Captain Elon
Won’t you lead us into outer space and
You can be my Captain Elon

We’re all living in this world of Elon Musk
There’s nothing in the news today that I can trust
Countries tweeting other countries that they lust
What a perverted state

With every search and every photo that I like
Shows my location and records my porno sites
Power now is telling others what to buy
They got my face and name

So Elon, Elon, won’t you save us from ourselves
Elon, Elon, cause we ain’t got no one else
With your technology, your vision, and your wealth
You could save us all

Captain Elon
Captain Elon
Won’t you lead us into outer space and
You can be my Captain Elon

Captain Elon
Captain Elon
Won’t you lead us into outer space and
You can be my Captain Elon